We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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