yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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