I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize