wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
