It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
