matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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