Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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