if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
