At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
