evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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