in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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