can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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