i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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