he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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