think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
