it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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