i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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