Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
