i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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