I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize