4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
