Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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