He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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