so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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