the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize