doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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