Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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