Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
