I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
