i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
