im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
