She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize