all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
