I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize