uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
