i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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