brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
