:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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