Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
