she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
