I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
