she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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