reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
