OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
