how can u be prego again
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
