If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
