I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
