haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
