so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
