My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
