My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
