I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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