Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
