it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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