The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
