and she was petting her beer can
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
