Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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