I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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