Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
