She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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