I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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