I think I died a long time ago.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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