i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
