is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
