the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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