dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she smelled like a LAN party
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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