I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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