toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
