I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
